I’m friends with all my exes, but two. With one of them, I don’t want to keep in touch, and with the other, he doesn’t want to keep in touch with me. Not keeping in touch is hard when you want to, or your trauma brain thinks you want to. For me, wanting to keep…

A couple of years back, someone I met on Hinge wanted me to get on a call, something I don’t really like to do as an introvert who hates speaking on the phone. But I humored him because I will generally give anything safe a try once before I rule it out. “What’s your favorite…

I learned a new word today – Salvation Fantasy. Registered trauma therapist, Kina Wolfenstein (@cptsdtherapist) mentioned this in an Instagram post that I was meant to see today. Because yesterday, while falling asleep, I fell into a salvation fantasy: I thought of how “cool” it would be if my last ex came back and apologized…

When I separated and divorced from my ex-husband a few years back, I also left my corporate career and sprang into coaching and freelance writing, destabilizing my financial security along the way. My first-ever therapist advised me against this career pivot, but I fired her and jumped ship anyway. I’m not the only person who…

2025 was the year of the snake. The year of shedding and the year of snaking around. I, too, shed multiple times this year like a snake that usually sheds four to twelve times a year. I shed friendships with low attunement towards my needs, remnant habits from my past versions, scrambling around like a…

Virginia Woolf said famously in her book A Room of One’s Own, “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.” I have a copy of this book, a one-bedroom condo of my own, but sometimes the fiction doesn’t flow as well. Perhaps what’s missing is the…

Imagine a long, lustrous river that skirts along a valley. Perhaps, the river of life. Lots of trees, shrubs, and massive stones on its banks. When it rains or the winds take all control, these riverbank dwellers are thrown into the river, blocking the river’s flow. The river stays stuck for some time based on…

Do you remember the first time you asked for one of your needs to be met? You might think you do this on the daily, but I’d encourage you to think more, think deeper. I grew up with preoccupied parents; most of us do. I was rarely asked what I wanted or needed, although I…

I moved to the US for my MBA at 27. It was dark, gray, and it rained all the time, like it was typical for Oregon. But I bought a red raincoat and gray rainboots, not wanting the rain to interrupt the life I was trying to build there. When I graduated and started working…

Whenever I see a happy wedding on TV, I grieve the wedding I never had because my first and only wedding (so far) was not raucously happy. There was no dancing, no elaborate toasts or customized vows, and only 24 guests. I didn’t even get to invite my boss, whose home we had both visited…