2025 was the year of the snake. The year of shedding and the year of snaking around.
I, too, shed multiple times this year like a snake that usually sheds four to twelve times a year. I shed friendships with low attunement towards my needs, remnant habits from my past versions, scrambling around like a headless chicken, corralling results through sheer grit and hustle, and fears existing only to “protect” me from a monster whose existence no one has verified as yet.
I largely gave up on alcohol because now, at my ripe age of 42, I get palpitations anytime I go overboard with my drinking. Even on consecutive festive nights, I only allow myself one drink. In parallel, I also stopped spreading myself thin across multiple social events over the same weekend and learned how much I needed to spend time with a silent me. In the past years, I feared being alone with all my sadness, and one of my exes once told me that I was busier than him when I complained that he couldn’t make time to go on proper dates.
My boundary game upped like the Empire State Building this year, soaring over the guilt I palpably felt whenever I had to say no and prioritize my needs over another’s, especially if they had some “authority” over me. This was the hardest because when someone requests something from me, my default self-talk was always yes, of course, why not, or let’s just help them with this one last time. There was no checking in on me: Did I have time and energy for this? Did I even want to do this? How will doing this impact my energy? But this is not the case anymore. The soft voice whispers, but I cajole her back to my needs and pause with more discernment when deciding whether to lean in or out or take my time.
All this shedding has left me tired but focused, unanchored but on a firmer footing than before. I know this year me is going to be very different from last year me. I will miss her and think of her lovingly. I will never forget how she struggled to find her way. I’m so darn proud of her, but I won’t wish her back either. The way is always forward in this soulful, fruitful journey.
