Grief Diary #42: The Stages of a Meal (and Grief)

A friend visiting me in Toronto took me to my first-ever Michelin Star restaurant a few years back. The menu here was exquisitely sparse and used limited-edition ingredients I wasn’t familiar with. Since the…

Grief Diary #41: The Final Countdown

I got to be an official aunt for the last time when my ex-husband’s sister and her family visited us in Toronto in 2019. What I mean by “official” is to be the legally…

Grief Diary #40: Trinkets of Coupledom

It was a sunny but cold Sunday in Toronto. As I spotted the perfect bench overlooking the Grenadier Pond at High Park, I quickened my pace so no one would beat me to it….

Grief Diary #39: Cathedrals in the Sky

“From tiny experiences we build cathedrals.” ~ Orhan Pamuk

He always sat to my left, the devil’s side. As we were dining and watching a scary movie on his gray sofa, I realized that our…

Grief Diary #38: All the Shades

Who has seen the worst of you? The anger, the ugly crying, the unsexy curves, and the extreme triggers?

Who has seen the best of you? The smiles, the special glances, the wisecracks, and…

Grief Diary #37: A Mother’s Woe

The mother who clawed

would sometimes also thaw

Black holes of wounds

birthing in the monkey

bleeding from his ma

seeping through all of their remaining days

Grief Diary #36: All the Abodes (Part 1)

I’ve always loved homes that help me dream: high ceilings, lots of natural sunlight, the feeling of buttoned-down physical security, nature at its beck and call, and some sort of inspiring view. Maybe this…

Grief Diary #35: The Love Energy

In The Map of Consciousness Explained, author David R. Hawkins describes the Map of Consciousness (copyrighted by The Institute for Spiritual Research, Inc.) that plots each emotion on a frequency scale. Love, a “higher”…

Grief Diary #34: Lace Wedding Dress

My ex-husband and I wore identical white gold wedding bands. I sold my ring a couple of years back when my cash inflow became sparse as a newish business owner. Besides, it was not…

Grief Diary #33: Loss of Play

Starbucks coffee and a chicken sandwich in hand, I took my seat at the airport facing the bar from a few feet away. My flight to Chicago was delayed by about an hour. I…