Book Buffet — The Miracle Mindset
As a voracious reader and writer, I read anything and everything that comes my way. Some for pure bliss and some for writing technique. But I assure you that The Miracle Mindset by J J Virgin (J J) should be on everyone’s must-read list.
This is the story of a mother (J J) and her son (Grant). The son meets with a catastrophic accident and the doctors give him a 0.02% chance of survival (no, that is not a typo). Add to that, that the accident happens when Grant dashes out in fury after a tempestuous argument with his mother. Not only does Grant survive, but he also thrives thanks to his mother’s miracle mindset. What goes through a mother’s mind when her son is in ICU? How does she keep the negative larks at bay? How does this mother not drown herself in a river of guilt? How does the family assimilate and be hopeful at the 0.02% chance Grant has of surviving? These are some questions that the book would answer.
As an aside, men may think that this is not relevant for them as it’s a mother’s story. I somehow cajoled my husband, who is a pretty macho dude, to read this. Although getting him to start on the book took a few false attempts, once he started he couldn’t put it down. So the story is relevant not only to women and mothers. This is a universal story that we can all learn from.
What is so special about her advise is that J J lived through this and her recommendations are based on how she handled the disastrous situation. The book is far from a litany of recommendations that are not practiced by the giver or the taker.
After I read the book, I made notes on what I wanted to carry forward into my life. I did not want to lose the following gems (in no particular order).
1. Challenges are opportunities that make you grow and you will only understand this after you get through the challenge. Train your mind to view challenges as opportunities while you’re mud-sliding through the challenge. Imagine how this perception-shift would impact us.
On the other side of the accident, after countless nights spent in hospital chairs, J J realizes that this is perhaps the best thing that could have happened to Grant because he got a new life. Before the accident, he wasn’t having an awesome life as a teenager due to his violent moods. He even uncovered his skill in sketching when he was healing.
2. Small steps in the right direction add up. Think about what you can do during the next hour to attain your big goals and do it. Do it every day.
When the family is faced with this dilemma, J J takes one step at a time. She first concentrates on getting Grant the best medical help possible. Then when he is able to eat solids, she focuses on getting him the best nutrients. One step at a time.
3. Your limitations will become your life. This especially spoke to me as I had a lot of limitations in my life and/or mind: I am not good at sales, my public-speaking sucks, will I become a good writer? I made a long list of all these limitations and examined how true they were. I questioned whether I knew these to be true into the future as well. I still go back to this limitation list — that I’ve since converted into a limitless possibilities list — on days when my confidence hangs by mere threads.
Sitting beside the hospital bed, J J continues to work on launching her book. Normal people with limited mindsets will wonder how she can concentrate on a book when her son is in such a condition. But in her limitless mind, she knew she had to launch the book as successfully as possible, now more than ever, because she needed to take care of Grant post-surgery.
4. Ask for help when needed. You can’t do it all on your own. You are not an expert in everything and neither do you have access to all the resources under the sun. Be genuine and ask for help if you think someone can help.
J J reaches out to her network and talks about the accident openly because she knew she needed all the help and good vibes that she can get. Friends helped not only by visiting with home-medicine like scented oils but also by praying for Grant.
5. If you want to take the island, burn all the boats. Get rid of backup plans; these are for risk-averse ‘wise’ folk, always thinking of something not working out. When you have only one plan and you have to succeed no matter what, your subconscious picks up on this desperate message and will make your daylight self do everything that’s needed to attain success. No stone will be left unmoved.
J J never thinks about the possibility of Grant not getting better. She is solely focused on Grant’s recovery. She expects nothing less for Grant and for herself.
6. Forgiveness will set you free. We all have some qualms, or more than a mere qualm, with someone or the other. It could be a parent or a co-worker or a friend long gone. Until we forgive them, bad vibes eat away at our insides. Slowly but surely.
In the end, when Grant has recovered, J J recognizes that she needs to forgive the woman who knocked down Grant and fled the scene. She thinks about the woman’s children, how old they may be. She puts herself in the woman’s situation and understands why she may have fled without getting any help for Grant. True forgiveness can only come from a place of real empathy.
7. Be present at all times to make better decisions. When we are overworked, we get tired and distracted. Then we make bad decisions because we are not present. Making decisions nowadays has got to do with either information overload or too little information. In both these situations, we need to be present to filter out unwanted information or to listen to our intuitions as needed.
During this time frame, J J and her family made critical decisions that Grant’s life hinged on. They made sure they were present at all times so they were able to make the right decisions for him. For example, doctors advised against airlifting him to another hospital, but J J decided to airlift him anyway because if he remained in the current hospital, his chances of a successful surgery were less than slim.
8. Eat right, move well and meditate. It is beyond surprising how often we forget the importance of healthy bodies and minds. If we are unhealthy, every other aspect of our lives will have to be put on hold. Although we realize this when we get sick, we are quick to forget this when the going gets better.
Although Grant is in ICU, J J understands that she needs to be in peak health to be there for Grant and the rest of her family. She builds in a workout schedule to her day, taking stairs at the hospital instead of elevators, and eats nutritious food to maintain her good health.
Enough about what I have learned from the book now. You should go grab yourself a copy to witness their journey firsthand.